Wanted: Escort for Halloween party

Rotaract Cosmopolitan is throwing a Halloween party for couples only at Carlton hotel on Friday night. Tickets are Rs 2000 per pair, and anyone interested can please contact Shehzad Sabir or just leave me a line on this blog and I’ll tell you where you can get tickets. By the by, it seems as president of Rotaract TIP I should make some sort of appearance. For that I would require someone to pay my end of the ticket, drop me to the venue, and willingly be ignored for the rest of the night because I sure as hell won’t be seen around a boyfriend-for-hire. I would also prefer to sit at the back seat and not talk at all during the ride to Carlton hotel; this includes small talk, chit chat and “lovely weather aint it?”s. Anyone able to keep his end of the bargain can have the pleasure of my non-company for all of the 30 minute drive from north nazimabad to Defence Phase 8. Oh, and what’s the incentive? Let see, I’ll be more than happy to not bore him with my incessant whining about how I SUCK AS PRESIDENT of a social club and might (imagine!) even consent to introduce him as my second cousin twice removed who’s just come back from Gujranwala. Heavens, this is one heck of an offer. My mailbox will probably be flooded by tomorrow.

I’ve pointed out quite a few times that not all of Karachi lives in Defence and Clifton, so planning every event on the other side of the bridge is inadvertently alienating a significant fraction of the club membership but it seems nobody listens to a girl who hails from ‘the other side of the bridge’. And now I’m beginning to believe the alienation is done on purpose. “We don’t want those icky nazimabadis!” screams streaky hawt girl in halter top. “Down with Gulshan!” cries out Yaar- I-bought- these-rad-Armani-socks- boy and the Phaser Brother looks on with benevolently evil (or vice versa) eyes at us bichare refugees from across the great divide. Tell them to have a small party somewhere in the middle of the city and they scream about security issues. Arena is not safe- so what if it’s right next to a navy school. And my GOD! Have you seen the scary people that live around PECHS? I don’t mention North Nazimabad because their eyes glaze over and they look thunderstruck. “Nobody lives there. Like nobody.” “ Is that even in Karachi?” “Yaar it’s too frickn far away.”

Yes bozo, and Defence is just as far away for me. So if I boycott your elitist event I’m actually saving up on 3 days worth of petrol. I’m protecting the environment and the economy. I’m keeping us from begging Saudi Arabia for oil. I rock. You suck.

And THIS event has hit me where it really hurts. Ok, so I don’t live in any of the phases, I’m proudly single and planning to stay so as long as physical force is not applied, and my month’s pocket money is exactly half of the ticket. And yes, I don’t get permission to stay out after 11 pm. And you know what? A lot of girls I know share my problem. Heck, why just restrict myself to girls? A lot of guys have this problem too. So thank you for the invitation, I’ll gladly pass it on to my committed Clifton dwelling friends with uber cool, uber rich parents and tell them that it’s all for a good cause.